Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.I love this quote because it really reminds me not to be judgmental of my husband's recovery progress. He and I have completely different strengths and virtues. At times I tend to compare his weaknesses to my strengths and unfairly expect him to mirror my own progress. And while I do this I completely ignore comparing my weaknesses to his strengths, heck, I just pretty much ignore that he even has strengths.
It is important for me to recognize his strengths and virtues. One thing I have done to help me is I compiled a 'Christ-like Attribute Inventory' of my husband. By physically listing out my husband's Christ-like attributes it helps me see in undeniable black and white that he is a good person, he does have value and he does have a lot to offer. It helps me focus on his goodness rather than letting negativity eat me alive.
It reminds me that my husband does not unfairly judge monkeys on their ability to swim upstream as I have so many times judged fish on their ability to climb trees.
Thank you! I needed this tonight. I have been very judgmental of my hubby's recovery. I like your idea of writing a list of his Christ-like attributes.
ReplyDeleteThanks:-) It really helped me! And it's so much easier to see the positive when I focus on the positive, rather than just telling myself to not focus on the negative.
Deleteseems like this is a great thing to do because it helps separate the man, the human being, the son of our Father from your/our husbands actions. Seems like doing this and reinforcing it could melt away the shame and anger, while helping them walk through and face the fear.
ReplyDeleteThat's the hope anyway. Thanks Scabbers!
DeleteScabbers! haha! wasn't that ron weasley's rat's name in harry potter? just asking, since you're the movie buff :)
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