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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I'm Blank

I'm struggling.

I found out this morning that my husband has pretty much been acting out for the past six months.

I AM BLIND!

I hear the term 'rescuing' tossed around a lot.  I understand the concept - I think.  I have no plans to rescue him.  I can't.  How can I?

So I plan on being hands off.  But I'm scared.  Is not rescuing and being hands off going to give him permission to keep acting out?  How do I create boundaries for that without being bossy and fixy?

I don't know what to do.

He is active in the program.  He goes to group every week.  We talk about what we learn at group.

I have asked him probably 4 times point blank over the last six months how sober he is and each time he whips out a number that is consistent with the last time he got caught.

I don't know how to process that.

I'm so numb right now I can't even muster tears, anger, frustration... nothing.

I'm blank.

5 comments:

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  3. Apple, I don't have any good answers, but my heart hurts for you and I wish I could hug you.

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  4. I'm so sorry. I know how it feels to find out things were so, so different from what you thought, and knew, and hoped, AND BELIEVED. My heart goes out to you.

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  5. It turns out things are much worse than I originally thought. It sucks. Just chewing on it all right now. THanks guys.

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